Hold up, slow down. [ Newt isn't even going particularly fast here, Sans was just still catching up from the jarring mention of his ghost friend. ] Her brother?
[ A pause. ]
What the hell were you doing in the woods? [ Another, much shorter pause, accompanied by the sound of a sigh. ] Y'know what, don't answer that. This monster you met -- are you being funny or did you seriously meet her family?
Her brother, yeah. Seung — Seung-Hyun? I met him, at the very least — didn't have as much luck finding any other monsters, but I think that might've worked in my favor, all things considered, because he was definitely giving me the ol' stink-eye.
[And also threatened to murder him if he had nothing to offer, but whatever, to-may-toe, to-mah-toe.]
I told him we have the potential for a cure, and he said that the power we need to complete it could be with them. I just need to go back with whatever I need; he left some kind of supernatural mark on me so I can pass through to... wherever this monster sanctuary is.
[ Well, hell if that didn't sound comprehensive. The information was good, it spelled brighter things for the mission. Cure on track, special spirital marks, the stars aligning to enable Newt to run into her brother of all people...
So why did Sans feel so damn empty hearing it? It was enough to frustrate him, if he had any energy left for that. ]
Sounds like a fruitful conversation, bud. [ He sucks in a breath, for all it sounds more like a hiss over voice. He thumbs at the corded bracelet on his wrist. ] Guess you're probably headin' there now, huh?
Well, uhm. Actually, I was gonna ask if you could do me a favor?
I need help getting two suitcases full of infected tissue samples and Ximilia tech out of the palace and into the outskirts of town without getting anything seized by the guards. By now they're probably pretty leery, so...
My research isn't something I really feel like leaving for the guards to play with, you know? Better to take it to the finish line than leave it at the gate.
[So you gonna help him be a reckless goob or what?]
[ It's a wonder it took Sans this long to realize who Newt reminded him of. Granted, attributing his reckless enthusiasm solely to his little brother was a little off base... but he couldn't really be blamed for that, could he?
The skeleton Newt really reminded him had been erased from existence.
With a pinch of his nasal bone, Sans takes an unnecessary breath. ]
I dunno, that idea sounds pretty solid to me. You humans are always running around, needing to pee. [ It's frankly a little weird, but who is he to judge. ] But I guess if you're shooting for discretion here...
[ "Dressed," Sans stifles a yawn: ] Where are you right now?
We're not doing this right now, buddy. [ He means that lovingly, Newt, really. Snapping on his "bracelet," Sans rubs the last of the sleep from his eyes. ] Your room? Alright.
[ There's a pause, barely more than a few seconds. ]
[He goes to open his door, his brain not quite catching up with what Sans is saying right now, and — oh. There's a bald skull in his view. There are advanced algorithms floating through his head that devolve into 'I D E F K in Morse code'.
He glances down.]
Wait, what?
[WHEN DID YOU GET HERE, DISNEY'S HAUNTED MANSION (TM) MILLENIAL???]
Hey, buddy. I found a shortcut between our rooms. Don't worry about it. [ Sans explains, without explaining a goddamn thing. ] I'm guessing this over here is the precious cargo?
[ He ganks a thumb over his shoulder at two uh... inconspicuous looking suitcases. Where's a bellhop when you need one? ]
[He glances over his shoulder, apparently willing to take Sans at his word. After all, he's a living skeleton. Weirder things have happened than shortcuts being around. He hunkers down into a squat between the two suitcases, not quite moving them yet; the poor room is covered in wrappers and abandoned cups. To be fair to Newton, not all of the cups are his... but yeah, his side of the room is a bit of a nightmare, even after he's collected all his findings.]
This is it, yeah. Honestly? Kind of happy that my research only fits in two of these, for once.
But two is still a lot to get out of here during a casual stroll...
[The shadow under him seems to wriggle when he doesn't.
[ The state of the place was impossible to miss and regrettably familiar. Somewhere a dozen dimensions away, Sans' own trash tornado was probably still blowing over what used to be his bedroom. To a lot of people, it was just mess. The mark of an unconcerned or distracted mind. To Sans, it sparked a little more concern for Newton than he was really prepared to feel.
... Concern that flares up at the strange wobble of darkness below the man.
Sans steps over a small stack of cups towards the nearest suitcase, furtively glancing around the room for some sort of unseen light source that would explain the phenomena. He came up empty. ]
Do you got a place to stash them once you get 'em outta here? [ He wraps a hand around one of their handles, tugging. The suitcase goes nowhere. What the hell was in these, cement? ] ... And, uh, maybe something with wheels?
[Oh, yeah, it's pretty heavy. He frets a little, waving a hand.]
Careful! That's got Finn's blood samples in it; extremely valuable materials in there!
[He wipes a hand across his brow.]
I can carry them long enough to get them where I need to go, but... I guess I was kinda just booking it to the place her brother told me to show up. Didn't really think of the whole Point A to Point B aspect of this.
[He considers their situation with a frown, kicking a paper ball with a foot absently.]
[ Oh. Right. The blood. Sans takes a half step away from the suitcases at the reminder. ]
Heh, I dunno. We both have a service industry vibe. [ Not that it didn't make them both stand out like sore thumbs. For other reasons ] The guards could be a problem, but I know a few more shortcuts.
[ Tapping his carpals against his jawbone, Sans thinks through the problem a few more steps. It was late enough that there wouldn't be too many people in the palace halls, but on the off chance there were... you didn't need two people to push a laundry cart. ]
How d'you feel about airing a little dirty laundry, buddy?
[ Smash cut to ten minutes later, Sans rolling a particularly large, particularly heavy load of "laundry" down the hall.
Were they conspicuous? Definitely. Were they being detected? Thankfully, not. Sans' network of shortcuts were serving him well. As far as comfort went, though... ]
How're you doing, pal? [ Sans whispered, in the middle of bending over to "tie his shoe." He was wearing slippers, but details-shmetails. ] No cramps, I hope.
Distract yourself by tellin' me what the heck hazing is.
[ Another right turn... ]
Sounds kinda like a puzzle, maybe one with big hedges.
[ Sans voice was casual and quiet; the kind of voice someone might use when they're talking to themselves instead of the fully grown man shoved in a laundry basket. ]
[He hesitates, and then sighs softly, like he's about to give him really unfortunate news.]
Uh... not exactly...
There are these groups called fraternities at colleges, and a lot of them are pretty fucking cool. They're usually great for a sense of belonging and support while you're breaking your neck turning in papers and studying for life-changing tests. I found a real good one eventually.
[A pause. Man, is he really having this talk from inside a hamper?
... He's had weirder places to talk.]
But sometimes, groups like that can be pretty nasty. And, uh... some people who are really desperate to get into one will do whatever they're told by these groups, to be accepted. Initiation rituals, they call 'em. Real embarrassing stuff that'll make you feel like shit after, like ditching you out in the woods alone or binge-drinking until they give you permission to stop.
It's just easy to think it's worth the humiliation when you're the new kid with the goofy accent who doesn't know anybody, and I wasn't always the confident, magnificent beast you have before you now, y'know.
[ Listen. No better place to have a vulnerable conversation, in Sans' opinion. Dark, private, plenty of places to wipe your nose with zero consequences... Ideal, really.
Outside the hamper, walking through the empty hallways, Sans also was a little grateful for the private part. His perpetual grin froze a little, corners twisting his expression into a grimace.
Humans were capable of boundless cruelty. But truth be told, monsters could be pretty intolerant of the weird ones, too. The two races methods may have been different -- behind-the-back snickering over midnight humiliations -- but the burn in Sans' ribs at the story was a familiar one. ]
People like that, the ones who think you gotta be more like everybody else to be worth something, they're the kinds of people who never know what to do when someone special comes along. Freaks 'em out, being around something that rare.
[ It was a version of a speech he'd given dozens of times before, soothing his own frustration back as much as anything for Newt's benefit. ]
Anyway, if ya ask me, hedge mazes sound a whole lot more fun.
[The little huff of exasperation just about nearly jostles the laundry, in true big-mouthed Newton fashion.]
You bet I freaked them out. Got there when I was fifteen years old! I was second youngest to be admitted to MIT. Those ass-wipes were totally jealous of me. [He gives pause.] Sure, I'm the one currently in a laundry hamper, but I'm also the one that graduated early, earned six PhDs, and wound up being their bosses. All before ditching them to go help save the world.
So fuck them for picking on a teenager, anyway!
I got the last laugh, and I'm a billion times cooler.
Edited (god my grammar today) 2021-08-17 00:22 (UTC)
[ Listening to Newt talk filled Sans with a familiar sort of warmth in his breast bone. The sort of feeling that urged him to reach into the hamper and start handing out noogies while also cataloguing each impressive factoid the next time he needed to boast on the guy to somebody.
It's a little strange that it took him until now to really realize it, but Newt... was cool. In the same way all of Sans' favorite people were cool. They literally refused to give in to a version of reality where they Weren't. ]
[And here it is, the moment she can lie and make something up or actually trust him and be serious. It's a hard choice, but she decides to take a chance.]
I have a friend that's going to be leaving the palace and seeking out your ghost friend. Newt is incredibly smart, but he needs someone to help make sure he doesn't say or do anything stupid that might get him in trouble. Do you think you could, I dunno, hit him upside the head anytime it looks like he might be doing something that could get him killed? I'd do it myself, but I'm staying behind.
[ A risk seldom worth taking, though it seems that Clara may have actually threaded the needle correctly this time. Even if Sans finds himself wincing a little at the letters 'N' 'E' 'W' and... well, you know the rest.]
y'know, the last time someone asked me to watch out for somebody i wound up on a space ship trying to undo saying yes. weird coincidence, huh?
but yeah you got a deal. i've heard some rumblings about his plans, they set off my alarm bells too. if it makes you feel better... so-yeon won't let anything happen to him once he gets there, not if she can help it. until then, i'll keep an eye socket on the big dork.
don't think i could reach his head, though. and slapping the parts i can reach would send a pretty different message. any other insights on getting through that thick skull? you seem like kind of an expert already.
[That first bit of information makes Clara take pause. She reads it over and over again, committing the words to memory. She'll file those away to discuss with him later.]
Situations like this do have a way of bringing about strange coincidences, I'd wager.
Think reminding him he has a friend here from home that he needs to stay alive to get back to ought to do the trick. If not, tell him that Clara will be very cross if he does anything to get hurt while he's away. Then feel free to let your bony fist fly and hit whatever sensitive regions are in reach. Sometimes blunt trauma to the genitals teaches a valuable message.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
voice.
I totally met him in the woods. Big shadowy monster guy, raspy voice? Big gaping hole in his torso-area?
voice.
Hold up, slow down. [ Newt isn't even going particularly fast here, Sans was just still catching up from the jarring mention of his ghost friend. ] Her brother?
[ A pause. ]
What the hell were you doing in the woods? [ Another, much shorter pause, accompanied by the sound of a sigh. ] Y'know what, don't answer that. This monster you met -- are you being funny or did you seriously meet her family?
voice.
[And also threatened to murder him if he had nothing to offer, but whatever, to-may-toe, to-mah-toe.]
I told him we have the potential for a cure, and he said that the power we need to complete it could be with them. I just need to go back with whatever I need; he left some kind of supernatural mark on me so I can pass through to... wherever this monster sanctuary is.
no subject
So why did Sans feel so damn empty hearing it? It was enough to frustrate him, if he had any energy left for that. ]
Sounds like a fruitful conversation, bud. [ He sucks in a breath, for all it sounds more like a hiss over voice. He thumbs at the corded bracelet on his wrist. ] Guess you're probably headin' there now, huh?
no subject
I need help getting two suitcases full of infected tissue samples and Ximilia tech out of the palace and into the outskirts of town without getting anything seized by the guards. By now they're probably pretty leery, so...
no subject
Are you for real right now?
[ Is he asking why the hell Newt came to him? Or asking why the hell he's being so completely reckless?
... Both. The answer is both. ]
no subject
I'd like to think I'm for real, yeah, sure.
My research isn't something I really feel like leaving for the guards to play with, you know? Better to take it to the finish line than leave it at the gate.
[So you gonna help him be a reckless goob or what?]
1/2
The skeleton Newt really reminded him had been erased from existence.
With a pinch of his nasal bone, Sans takes an unnecessary breath. ]
2/2
no subject
A heathen, some would say.]
I was gonna run through super fast and yell 'coming through, I have to pee!'.
Which is why I'm here talking to you now, after trying to play that out in my head.
this tag made me SCREAM
I dunno, that idea sounds pretty solid to me. You humans are always running around, needing to pee. [ It's frankly a little weird, but who is he to judge. ] But I guess if you're shooting for discretion here...
[ "Dressed," Sans stifles a yawn: ] Where are you right now?
G O O D
Is the secret thing humans had that monsters wanted a functioning bladder?
[... Ha! Callback! He waves a hand dismissively]
Never mind, more important things to address here. I'm pacing some of the halls to let off some pent-up energy, but I can meet you at my room?
no subject
[ There's a pause, barely more than a few seconds. ]
Okay, I'm here. You close?
no subject
[He goes to open his door, his brain not quite catching up with what Sans is saying right now, and — oh. There's a bald skull in his view. There are advanced algorithms floating through his head that devolve into 'I D E F K in Morse code'.
He glances down.]
Wait, what?
[WHEN DID YOU GET HERE, DISNEY'S HAUNTED MANSION (TM) MILLENIAL???]
no subject
[ He ganks a thumb over his shoulder at two uh... inconspicuous looking suitcases. Where's a bellhop when you need one? ]
no subject
This is it, yeah. Honestly? Kind of happy that my research only fits in two of these, for once.
But two is still a lot to get out of here during a casual stroll...
[The shadow under him seems to wriggle when he doesn't.
It's fine.]
no subject
... Concern that flares up at the strange wobble of darkness below the man.
Sans steps over a small stack of cups towards the nearest suitcase, furtively glancing around the room for some sort of unseen light source that would explain the phenomena. He came up empty. ]
Do you got a place to stash them once you get 'em outta here? [ He wraps a hand around one of their handles, tugging. The suitcase goes nowhere. What the hell was in these, cement? ] ... And, uh, maybe something with wheels?
no subject
Careful! That's got Finn's blood samples in it; extremely valuable materials in there!
[He wipes a hand across his brow.]
I can carry them long enough to get them where I need to go, but... I guess I was kinda just booking it to the place her brother told me to show up. Didn't really think of the whole Point A to Point B aspect of this.
[He considers their situation with a frown, kicking a paper ball with a foot absently.]
... A laundry hamper?
Is that super sketchy when we're not workers?
no subject
Heh, I dunno. We both have a service industry vibe. [ Not that it didn't make them both stand out like sore thumbs. For other reasons ] The guards could be a problem, but I know a few more shortcuts.
[ Tapping his carpals against his jawbone, Sans thinks through the problem a few more steps. It was late enough that there wouldn't be too many people in the palace halls, but on the off chance there were... you didn't need two people to push a laundry cart. ]
How d'you feel about airing a little dirty laundry, buddy?
no subject
He squints at Sans.]
Are you gonna shove me into a laundry hamper, dude?
1/2
[ They both knew the answer. Of course he would fit. ]
2/2
Were they conspicuous? Definitely. Were they being detected? Thankfully, not. Sans' network of shortcuts were serving him well. As far as comfort went, though... ]
How're you doing, pal? [ Sans whispered, in the middle of bending over to "tie his shoe." He was wearing slippers, but details-shmetails. ] No cramps, I hope.
no subject
This is so uncool, man. How often do people wash their clothes in that palace?
This is like college hazing all over again.
[please kill him]
no subject
Distract yourself by tellin' me what the heck hazing is.
[ Another right turn... ]
Sounds kinda like a puzzle, maybe one with big hedges.
[ Sans voice was casual and quiet; the kind of voice someone might use when they're talking to themselves instead of the fully grown man shoved in a laundry basket. ]
no subject
Uh... not exactly...
There are these groups called fraternities at colleges, and a lot of them are pretty fucking cool. They're usually great for a sense of belonging and support while you're breaking your neck turning in papers and studying for life-changing tests. I found a real good one eventually.
[A pause. Man, is he really having this talk from inside a hamper?
... He's had weirder places to talk.]
But sometimes, groups like that can be pretty nasty. And, uh... some people who are really desperate to get into one will do whatever they're told by these groups, to be accepted. Initiation rituals, they call 'em. Real embarrassing stuff that'll make you feel like shit after, like ditching you out in the woods alone or binge-drinking until they give you permission to stop.
It's just easy to think it's worth the humiliation when you're the new kid with the goofy accent who doesn't know anybody, and I wasn't always the confident, magnificent beast you have before you now, y'know.
no subject
Outside the hamper, walking through the empty hallways, Sans also was a little grateful for the private part. His perpetual grin froze a little, corners twisting his expression into a grimace.
Humans were capable of boundless cruelty. But truth be told, monsters could be pretty intolerant of the weird ones, too. The two races methods may have been different -- behind-the-back snickering over midnight humiliations -- but the burn in Sans' ribs at the story was a familiar one. ]
People like that, the ones who think you gotta be more like everybody else to be worth something, they're the kinds of people who never know what to do when someone special comes along. Freaks 'em out, being around something that rare.
[ It was a version of a speech he'd given dozens of times before, soothing his own frustration back as much as anything for Newt's benefit. ]
Anyway, if ya ask me, hedge mazes sound a whole lot more fun.
no subject
You bet I freaked them out. Got there when I was fifteen years old! I was second youngest to be admitted to MIT. Those ass-wipes were totally jealous of me. [He gives pause.] Sure, I'm the one currently in a laundry hamper, but I'm also the one that graduated early, earned six PhDs, and wound up being their bosses. All before ditching them to go help save the world.
So fuck them for picking on a teenager, anyway!
I got the last laugh, and I'm a billion times cooler.
no subject
It's a little strange that it took him until now to really realize it, but Newt... was cool. In the same way all of Sans' favorite people were cool. They literally refused to give in to a version of reality where they Weren't. ]
Nah, nah. Definitely at least a trillion, buddy.
text
no subject
no subject
[And here it is, the moment she can lie and make something up or actually trust him and be serious. It's a hard choice, but she decides to take a chance.]
I have a friend that's going to be leaving the palace and seeking out your ghost friend. Newt is incredibly smart, but he needs someone to help make sure he doesn't say or do anything stupid that might get him in trouble. Do you think you could, I dunno, hit him upside the head anytime it looks like he might be doing something that could get him killed? I'd do it myself, but I'm staying behind.
no subject
y'know, the last time someone asked me to watch out for somebody i wound up on a space ship trying to undo saying yes. weird coincidence, huh?
but yeah you got a deal. i've heard some rumblings about his plans, they set off my alarm bells too. if it makes you feel better... so-yeon won't let anything happen to him once he gets there, not if she can help it. until then, i'll keep an eye socket on the big dork.
don't think i could reach his head, though. and slapping the parts i can reach would send a pretty different message. any other insights on getting through that thick skull? you seem like kind of an expert already.
no subject
Situations like this do have a way of bringing about strange coincidences, I'd wager.
Think reminding him he has a friend here from home that he needs to stay alive to get back to ought to do the trick. If not, tell him that Clara will be very cross if he does anything to get hurt while he's away. Then feel free to let your bony fist fly and hit whatever sensitive regions are in reach. Sometimes blunt trauma to the genitals teaches a valuable message.
no subject
noted, noted, and noted. next time i need to make a point known to somebody, im gonna go through you sis.
[ And, just in case she thought that was goodbye, there's just one more thing... ]
can i ask you something, tho?
no subject
Of course you can.
no subject
i suppose i'm wonderin' who's looking out for you?
no subject
I've found it inconvenient to count on other people looking out for me.